Thankful

Lately, I have been crabby and completely overwhelmed. I have had so much going on with school and work that I have just checked out. I've been completely antisocial, which is unlike me. I feel bad not being more active and social, but right now spending time relaxing with my husband is what is keeping me sane. All of this has gotten to a point where I'm becoming a debbie downer, so I thought I would write a blog about what I'm thankful for.

1. My husband who loves me unconditionally and does his best to keep me from being too overwhelmed.
2. My church and the community within it.
3. Hot tea on a cool, rainy day.
4. The opportunity to even be in school.
5. Pumpkin bread, muffins, and pie.
6. The holidays and all of the family and community that comes along with them.
7. My professors who focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses.
8. My mom. She worked so hard to raise me and comes down whenever she gets a chance.
9. My grandmother who helped my mom raise me.
10. Having a sense of humor.
11. My friends, who deserve to be closer to the top of this list.
12. Having a house and being provided for.
13. Sushi, and the fact that my husband loves sushi
14. Having time to laugh, joke, and relax with my husband.
15. Love.

I fully expected that list to be a little more lighthearted but that is what I could think of right now. I know there is much more I am grateful for.

"Dont test my politeness"

Hello blog, its been awhile since Ive seen your lovely face.

I guess it has only been three days, but I guess I just felt the need to be creative, in some form, tonight. The quote doesn't really have much to do with the blog, it is a quote from the office tonight, and I just thought it was funny.
Well, I feel the need to be creative, but Im not sure how. I guess I will just start (actually continue) writing random thoughts as they come to me.

Best quote of the week "you are the jelly to my peanut butter, the yin to my yang, the sour to my patch kids" - My husband after realizing he hasn't been speaking my love language lately.
Emotions are tricky, they sneak up on you. Actually when he said this quote I started balling, like sobbing, I just needed to hear it so badly. I also just needed to cry. It was such a good release. Grad school is overwhelming right now and I know Im not managing my time well, so Ive been in a rut lately. Those words were a gift from God at just the right time. I felt so loved.

Biggest disappointment this week: realizing that my annotated bibliographies only needed to be a page long, after I had written almost 3 pages each for 10 of them (aka I was on page 30). I ended at page 40. I can honestly say I have never written a 40 page paper before.

We found a kitten, no one claimed it, a week later we took it to the humane society. The person there was crabby and not very polite. I felt bad leaving kitters (as we called her) there.

This semester is almost over.. I cannot believe it. Next semester I am in the schools one day a week. I will be at a high school... I'm terrified.

Today I thought of where I want to be in 5 years. Here is my answer:
Still married and loving my husband (don't think that will be too much of an issue)
working as a school counselor
Having one kid of my own and as many foster kids as possible. (the number 5 came to mind)
In our own home, with a fenced in yard, trees, and lots of bedrooms for those kids.
still at our church
happy
and making an impact on the lives of the kids in this town whose parent's can't or aren't being parents to them.

Can you tell I really can't wait to be a foster parent :)

I am just really thankful for all that God has given me lately. My friends who make me laugh and challenge me. My friends who point out my flaws and love me anyways. My family, who, whether or not they know Jesus, show His love all of the time. My husband who tries so incredibly hard to provide and be the best husband he can be, and who loves me even in my stubborn and critical moments. The opportunity that I have to go to grad school (I am certain this is where God wants me). I'm thankful for the beauty that was fall. Im thankful for organic apple red tea with honey. I'm thankful that I have started exercising and have been following through with it.

I'm just really happy, and that scares me. Because I have always had this fear that being happy means something bad will happen, you can't just be happy, there is always something to ruin it. But God wants us to be happy. We are his children and he loves us and wants to give us that. I'm thinking I need to trust a little more, and worry a little (lot) less.

Ok this blog is loooong enough.

Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down. But a kind word cheers him up.

What did I get myself into?

Things I didn't sign up for when I decided to go to grad school:
1. Writing 15 2-3 page papers over the course of one weekend.
2. Not having a life outside of school
3. Annotated Bibliographies
4. A class that requires I write 4 papers each week and read three books and write summaries for this and that.
5. Did I mention not having a life?
6. Attempting to discuss rational emotive therapy and Gestalt techniques with my husband.
7. Using the term comorbidities 5 times within one paragraph.
8. Crying when my husband said I was the jelly to his peanut butter.(because I miss him so much)
9. discussing chi squares, t tests, anovas, and other various statistical terms
10. enjoying running because it gets my mind off of school.
11. Realizing how much of a procrastinator I really am.

This may sound like complaining (I guess it sort of is), but I love grad school and I am completely glad that I am doing this. I just needed to blow off some steam! Back to writing my 15 papers. 8 down, 7 to go!

See ya in 1.5 years!