Miss me?

Hello blogging world, I'm back. Apparently I decided to take almost a year long blogging hiatus. Who knows when I will write again, so lets make this good.

The last time I wrote I was a newly minted mom in the throws of early motherhood. I was probably (read definitely) hormonal, sleep deprived, and scared out of my mind. Now I have a whole year worth of trial and error under my belt. Which, honestly, is nothing in the grand scheme of things. But I've learned a lot about love, grace, and forgiveness along the way. I've also learned more about myself and how my past has influenced my current self than I thought possible.

Above all of that, God has shown me how much he loves and cares for his kids. Before I was a  mother, I prayed often for mothers that they would remember how much they love their children and how Jesus loves them immeasurably more. The thing is, I had no idea the depth of love you could have for a little person whose current functions in life are to eat, sleep, and poop. The kind of love that makes you burst into tears at the sight of the slightest smile (which is likely due to gas, and not mommy's presence). Or the kind of love that makes getting up in the middle of the night for 8 plus months bearable. The kind of love that makes you fear every weird noise or slight cough because obviously it means your child has the plague

You see. God loves us far more than we love our children. He loves us with this perfect unconditional love. I know how much I love my daughter. I would do anything for her. God loves us more. He is not a neglectful parent. He desires good for us, just like we want the best for our kids. Grasping this truth has made the difficulties of the past year more bearable than if I didn't have a child. I've begun to see this temporary affliction as just that, temporary. It's a season and it will pass just as the others have. There will be seasons of plenty and seasons of dryness. The key is to remember, through it all, God wants the best for us and he will use those seasons to refine and shape us. Just as we hope to refine and shape our children.