Friday, September 2, 2016

Being Sick Sucks

Being sick sucks. Being a mom and being sick really sucks.

Seriously, sisters, can I get an amen?

I’ve been coughing for about 5 weeks now. Bronchitis was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. This week it became pneumonia and a sinus infection.

Awesome. Just awesome.

Being forced to rest is hard. Really hard. We just don’t live in a world where rest comes easy. It is not valued, not appreciated. The lives we lead and the stuff we pack them full of often drag us along.

Life is so full of stuff. Full of obligations. Full of work. Full of activities.

Not so full of Jesus, rest, or balance.

But, honestly, I don’t know what we do about that. The things I have in my life that make it so very full are all necessary right now. Church...yes. Work...yes. Kids....duh. Foster Parenting….yes Kids activities...well we paid for them, so yes.

All good things, but they add up, and fast!

Between the schedules and the meetings and the 4 voices that seem to get louder each day. I’m overwhelmed. I hate to admit it, but I am. My body is revolting and I’m being forced to rest and it sucks. I want to be doing activities with the kids and cleaning and cooking and all the things I usually hate but I find that I’m so worn out by the time I get home that I can’t. I’m so thankful Hubs can step up, but I miss my role.

This is the 2nd time this year I have been forced to rest. The first was when I got mono and was sick for a month in January. 30 has been a banner year of health for me (all the side eyes) and still I hate it. I hate resting when I should be doing.

Isn’t that the theme of my people pleasing perfectionist persona? Should be doing… All the shoulds, coulds, and woulds that have graced my thoughts and plans drown me at times like these. I should be able to push through this. I should be healthy by now. I should be…

There is a quote I happened upon whilst trying to find a quote about not trying so hard….gotta love the irony.

“Embrace the glorious mess that you are!” Elizabeth Gilbert.

Yes! Embrace that mess. Wear it like a proud badge of honor. Your life is full, Mama, and mess is a product of a full life.

Join me, will you? This week I am going to  try to embrace the crazy, chaotic, messy life I live and not fret so much over the small stuff. Sure, I’m still sick and the house is a mess and I am wracked with guilt over all the slack I’m leaving in my wake of sickness...but I can’t  change it. So, I’ll embrace it.

God, teach me how to embrace this life, just as it is, in all it’s glorious messiness. Help me to find rest where I need it, and strength for each day. Would you meet us here? In our chaos? In our crazy? Would you meet us in our vulnerability? I pray you would remind us over and over that your burden is light and you give rest with open arms, we only need take it.

No comments: